[[begin]]you were my best friend, [[once.]]we were the children running through the [[clover]] [[field]], fingers swinging together, feet tripping over the grass and each other. you painted the world beautiful and happy, with your laughter and your [[sparkling eyes]].eventually, the seemingly inexhaustible supply of our youthful energy ran dry, and we stumbled to the ground, breathless. for a while, we just lay there, somehow grinning as we [[gasped for air]].*look!* you said after a while. *it's a four-leaf clover!* i gasped and bolted upright, my eyes wide as i [[stared at you]]. *really?* *yeah! check it out!* you thrust the clover at me, beaming. *wow...* i whispered excitedly. *that's so cool...* you bobbed your head rapidly. *hey—if there was one, maybe there's another! let's look!* *okay!* [[i agreed.]](you were always the prettier one) (it's not that i was jealous) (it's more that i never stopped [[being awestruck|gasped for air]])for a long time, we scrambled around the field, tearing through [[grass]] and [[stems]] and [[little leaves]] in the frantic search for a four-leaf clover to match the one you'd found. but as hard as we tried, we found no other four-leafs [[that day]].(you always loved clovers) (there are a few pressed in between your notebooks) ([[i caught it from you|once.]])(it wasn't really a field of clovers, of course) (but there were thick patches here and there) (that was [[enough for us|once.]])(thin enough that you hardly noticed it [[being gone|i agreed.]])(they don't [[hold together|i agreed.]])(small and green and [[easily torn apart|i agreed.]])*aw...* i wiped the sweat from my forehead and sighed. *i can't find one.* *me either.* you looked at me, then down at your hand. then you offered the clover to me. *here. [[you can have it.]]*my eyes widened, and i very carefully took the clover and examined it. somehow, it had retained its pristine, perfect condition during our search, as if no one had ever [[disturbed it.]]*really...?* i asked hesitantly. you nodded enthusiastically. *yeah. it's okay. i'll find another one someday.* *you think so?* *yeah!* you grinned. *of course i will. i'll find another one just like that, and then [[we'll both have one!]]* giggling with joy, i nodded. you joined me in laughter, and the world melted away into warm sunlight and [[leaf-green happiness]].[[...]]today, i am [[alone]] in that field.we've both grown up and grown apart. like two leaves on two different trees, we are distant. we have no connection to each other anymore. the four-leaf clover has long since [[withered and died.]]you haven't been back to the clover field, as far as i know. you've graduated, probably to [[roses]] or [[violets]] or [[lilies]]. i don't have any flowers [[anymore.]](red petals might be pretty but they die [[very soon|withered and died.]])(violets might be colorful but they don't have [[enough green|withered and died.]])(lilies may be pure but innocence is [[lost|withered and died.]])i still get on my hands and knees from time to time, to search for a four-leaf clover to replace the one you gave me so long ago. i hunt and hunt, until my breath is gone and my face is glistening with sweat. but no matter how hard i try, i can't find that [[extra leaf.]]and the funny thing is, [[(i don't fucking remember how it happened.)]]i don't remember how we grew apart. i don't remember how, exactly, it happened. **i don't remember anything.** [[so...]]what am i supposed to do? [[>]]end - A Some Strange Circus Game Written by Chelsea Sieg Copyright 2015 Thanks to Naomi Norbez for being my first Patron. Thanks to Naomi Norbez and kaleidofish for inspiring work on this game.