"how much do you even [[earn?|change4.1]]"
"i love your uniform."\n\nyou clench your jaw. why do you even put up with this shit? you furiously swipe the stupid toothbrush. \n\n[[BEEP|change3]]
the men are laughing about you.\n\nyou're [[uncomfortable|change1.2]].
you wave your hand \n\na pair of earmuffs and sunglasses are irresistibly attracted to you \n\nyou had almost forgotten the [[bandana|change15]]
-----WARNING: USE OF PROFANITY-----\n\nWelcome to the MINIMUM WAGE SIMULATOR.\n\nBefore you proceed with the enactment, we would like to remind you of the basic precautions to ensure maximum safety:\n\n1. Links that look like [[this|example1]] are good. They have been tested and verified. They are safe. Click on the safe links.\n\n2. If you ever come across links like [[&ù%::&THIS&ù%::&|example2]]: do NOT click on them. They are bad. They are faults in our otherwise perfect system. They are bad.\n\nWe wish you a pleasant [[stay|proceed]]!
49.55$, please. \n\nthe man throws you a 50$ note.\n\n"keep the change".\n\nyou rise from your throne.\n\nthey did not expect it\n\nyou are [[glowing|change7]]
you are a cashier. \nyour job is to scan articles.\n\nyour first client of the day is here! \naren't you excited?\n\n[[yes|1]]
you've scanned another one one of the men's articles.\n\n[[scan|11]]
they continue.\n\nyou're a bit angry by now. your hands are quivering slightly.\n\none of them [[speaks up|change2]].
a bag of chips. \n\n[[scan|2]]
the client is very happy with your efforts!\n\nhe manifests it by condescendingly staring at you while you work, then gives you 20$. After he receives the change, he leaves without a goodbye.\n\nit is clear that you have made his day!\n\n[[next|5]]
oh, it seems like a group of young men have decided to enter the shop right before your shift ends. \nthey form a crowded line.\n\n[[scan|10]]
MINIMUM WAGE SIMULATOR
suddenly, all is clear\n\nit all makes fucking sense\n\nyou are capable of it\n\nyou can hear the call\n\nyou know who you truly are\n\nhow could you have been so blind?\n\nit is time for you to erupt\n\nafter one last [[scan|change6]].
"you had one job." \n\nthe men laugh. a herd of pigs.\n\n[[SCAN SCAN SCAN|change4.13]]
"are you deaf?"\n\nyour face is fucking red. just like those hideous socks. \n\n[[SCAN SCAN|change4.01]]
"hey, go faster!"\n\nyou can feel something building up from deep inside.\n\n[[SCAN|change4.11]]
a pair of red socks. alcohol. doritos.\n\n[[scan|change1.1]]
"are you annoyed? is everything all right? you don't seem happy."\n\na pack of condoms flies from left to right. a box of donuts gets scanned twice, you're shaking.\n\n[[BEEP BEEP|change4]]
the bag of doritos explodes\n\npointy food. like arrows\n\nyou are ready to strike\n\n[[are they ready?|change10]]
the cash register flies open\n\n0.45$ levitate\n\nit's doing fucking telekinetic shit\n\nthe men are hyperventilating\n\nyou've got dat willpower, [[yeah|change9]]
shakingly, they bow\n\nthe manager can't bow, she's passed out on the floor\n\nlaying in her own vomit\n\nyou forgive her \n\nyou're [[God|change14]]
you are beautiful\n\nyou are the motherfucking cashier of your kingdom\n\nthe eternal ruler of this convenience store\n\nthis is your white-tiled ground. your holy land.\n\nyou know by heart the prices of all the vegetables\n\nyou can count change faster than lighting\n\nhow could they possibly have the foolishness \n\nto [[confront you?|change8]]\n\n
"HOW DARE YOU"\n\nthe lights flicker. your power is intense\n\nthe manager runs out of his room\n\nshe screams \n\nthey're all fucking screaming\n\nyou're [[laughing|change12]]
no, they are not\n\nvibes of awe and fear\n\nthey're shitting themselves\n\n[[punish|change11]]
This is exactly what you shouldn't do. You've understood well. Please [[proceed|StartRewind]].
it's 5pm. you've done a lot of scanning today!\naren't you happy about scanning all day today?\nisn't it rewarding?\n\n[[scan|9]]
aviator sunglasses. swag\n\n"SEE NO EVIL"\n\nthe pink earmuffs go well with your flaming cheeks\n\n"HEAR NO EVIL"\n\nthe bandana floats in mid-air\n\nslowly, it wraps itself around your mouth\n\n"SPEAK NO EVIL"\n\nit's a religious experience\n\n[[you disintegrate into the universe|change16]]
Great. You are doing very well already!\n\n[[back|StartRewind]]
MINIMUM WAGE SIMULATOR\n\nvaida\n\nmade for the Air Control Jam\n\n[[again?|StartRewind]]
Thank you for trying out our MINIMUM WAGE SIMULATOR!\n\nThis is the end of your trip. We hope you didn't experience any issues!\n\nWe know that you haven't clicked on any bad links - you're a good person. We trust you entirely! \n\n[[thank you, goodbye|change19]]
you're getting tired of this.\n\n[[scan|change1]]
you've scanned one of the men's articles.\n\nhooray!\n\n[[scan|11.2]]\n\n[[&ù%::&scan&ù%::&|change]]
some run to the doors\n\nyou've locked them mentally\n\nyou don't make beginner's mistakes \n\nyou stare at the mayonnaise\n\nit explodes\n\nyou stare at the lightbulb\n\nit shines brighter\n\nit burns them\n\n[["BOW TO ME"|change13]]
0.45$. \n\ntake your fucking change, dude.\n\n[[peace out|change18]]
just like that\n\nyour hand freezes\n\nyou don't hear a "beep"\n\nyou don't hear anything\n\nit's like that moment before an orgasm, except it's not\n\nyou can feel it [[coming|change5]]\n\n\n\n\n
slowly, beautifully\n\nyour whole body turns into a ray of intense light\n\nshine bright like a fucking diamond\n\nthe men are still bowing\n\nthey're wondering what the hell is going on\n\nwith a last explosion of doritos\n\nyou're gone\n\nthis was it\n\nyou became the earth\n\nthe earth became you\n\nthe supermarket is a sanctuary\n\nthey will pray for you here\n\nyou'll be the ruler of the new world\n\nthis is some high level illuminati shit going on\n\n[[you speak to them|change17]]