Bye Sex

You enter the computer room. Your friend has something ''really cool'' to show you. You look at their screen and see it covered with pictures of naked women. The women are in a whole assortment of positions. You feel an odd sensation as you look about the screen. You go up to a vacant computer nearby. You choose one with its screen facing away from the door, to give yourself a window for changing the screen incase someone comes in the room. [[Login->Day 1 - Login]]

Your actual student login is fucked, so your friend has been allowing you to log into their account. You login, open the web browser and go to Image Search. You search //naked women//. And there they are. So many beautiful naked women. This is pornography. You've seen porn before. [[You remember the VHS tape.->Day 1 - VHS tape]] [[You remember drawing porn.->Day 1 - Drawn porn]] But this had endless pictures of naked women. As you scroll through them the odd feeling intesifies. It feels really good as you look over all the pictures. You're fascinated by their bodies. The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 2]]

''Choose your orientation'' - [[Straight->Day 1]]

You remember when your parents went out and the babysitter would chill downstairs and you would go and find the VHS tape with porn on it. You were too young to feel anything from it but it interested you. You go [[back->Day 1 - Login]] to the present.

You remember how you could draw the best in the class in primary school and you donned these skills to draw people having sex, people going down on each other, people doing all sorts of things to each other. You enjoyed drawing these and once people found out you were drawing them, people wanted them too. You'd draw pictures on request for people. Drawing them at home and hiding them under your bed. You hid them because you knew sex was bad. You were a bad person for drawing such things. But all these people wanted to see, people who would otherwise either ignore you or bully you. Eventually your mother checked under the bed. You felt your face burn with embarrassment and shame. You go [[back->Day 1 - Login]] to the present.

The next day, you couldn't wait to get back to the computer room. You jump onto a computer, check no one is about and search: //Naked women// You pause. //Naked women porn// You see lots of pictures of people having sex in various stages. Lots of penetrative sex. You share this extra keyword with your friend. You both gorge yourselves on the amazing images. "eugh" Your friend keeps making revolted remarks. You go over to see what's on their screen. [[You don't understand->Day 2 - Same pictures]]

They were looking at the same kind of pictures that you were. But they kept being disgusted when they saw a penis. They would try to block it out with their hand. You go back to your screen. You look at the dicks. You feel no disgust. It's not the first time you've seen a penis. They're almost always in porn. Hell, you look at a penis every time you go for a piss. Are you supposed to feel disgusted? Is something wrong with you? The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 3]]

''Choose your orientation'' - [[Straight?->Day 3 - Disgust]]

**Choose your orientation**\ (set:$choseGay to false) - [[Straight->Day 6 - Caught]] - [[Gay->Day 4 - Gay]]

You enter the computer room again. You now search for many different terms, bringing up all sorts of bizarre things that people seem to want to do with their bodies. You amaze yourself with the fact multiple people can have sex. You see dicks going all over the place. You really don't mind seeing them. Actually, you **like** to see them. You get the same good feeling from before when you do. You stare at a penis. You look at it's hardened shaft. You follow it along from it's base up to the glistening purple tip. (live: 35s)[The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 4]]]

You hide in the corner. You bring up those fascinating images. They're so amazing. You feel empowered. You get to see these incredibly beautiful people in such a vunerable state. You imagine how uncomfortable you would be, to be naked. Not only naked infront of someone so beautiful, but for anyone in the world to then be able to see your body. Analyse your body. Consume your body. The headmaster opens the door. You can't hide the shock from your face. (set:$closedBrowser to false)\ (set:$loopCount to 0)\ {(live: 1s)[ (if: $closedBrowser is true)[He gets to your computer just as you close the browser window.(stop:)] (else-if: $loopCount is 45)[He gets there before you can close the browser window.(stop:)] (else:)[You quickly fumble to |closeB>[close the web browser.]] (click: ?closeB)[(set: $closedBrowser to true)] (set:$loopCount to $loopCount + 1) ] }\ (live: 1s)[ "What are you doing" he asks, staring directly at you. You feel your face start to burn. The searing pain of shame.\ (if: $closedBrowser is true)[ You tell him "Nothing".] He leans over you to the computer mouse and keyboard.\ (if: $closedBrowser is true)[ He opens the web browser.] Your heart starts beating quickly. He opens a menu and selects an option that says //History//. You feel as though your stomach has fallen through your body; through the floor; it doesn't stop falling. He takes a screen shot of the history. He then pastes the image into a file and prints it. You sit there quietly, frozen to the spot. He takes the print-out and leaves the room. Time feels like it has stopped. Surrounding you is absolute silence. [[You wait there.->Day 6 - Verdict]]\ (if: $loopCount is 45)[(stop:)]\ (else-if: $closedBrowser is true)[(stop:)]]

You open the browser.\ (set:$choseGay to true) You've been careful to choose a computer that's not only facing the wall, but facing away from your friend. You type into the image search bar //Gay porn// Images pop up. More sex, but this time with only men. These men clearly also don't mind dicks. And while they don't have sex in the same way as those other men had sex with women, they could still penetrate each other through their arse. Is that what gay people do? Actually you'd seen women with men putting their penis up their arse too. Does everyone do it? Is it something gay people are expected to do, otherwise you can't have sex? You continue looking at all the dicks. You can feel yourself becoming obsessed. You want to see more and more. You expand your search //Super gay porn// New images fill your screen. It's now even more densely packed with men and their cocks. You want to join them, it looks great. They seem to be enjoying their bodies and you want to enjoy it too. When you get home, you [[masturbate->Day 4 - wank]].

You are in so much trouble. You wait for what feels like a lifetime before the headmaster comes back. "Come with me." he tells you, sternly. You sheepishly get up and follow him out of the computer room. You look to the floor as you both walk through the hallways. You're taken into an empty classroom. The IT technician is there. He looks at you with incredible disgust. On the table infront of him is the print-out. "Do you think this is something that is acceptable to do?" the headmaster barks at you. You struggle to find the words. "No, sir" "Have you any idea how disrespectful this is to women" You look at him puzzled and skeptical. Everyone in the school knows that the headmaster has a trophy wife. He's wealthy and a terribly irritable human being, as well as incredibly ugly. Everyone knows how he got such a good looking wife. He had left his previous wife and children for her. Does he really have such respect for women? You quickly realise the current situation and try to right your expression. "What do you have to say for yourself" He asks, his voice cold and ferocious. That's a good question; what do you have to say for yourself? "I'm sorry, sir. I'm really sorry, sir. I knew what I was doing was wrong and that I shouldn't have done it." You can feel your eyes start to water. Your stomach feels like someone's fist has been driven into it at speed. You can feel a dark cloud approaching you from behind, slowly cloaking you. You struggle to breath. The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 7]]

You'd started noticing how when you got that weird feeling, your penis would start to harden. It felt good to tense and put pressure on your penis when it started getting hard. It also felt good to pull back the skin, revealing your bell end. It's almost like a tickling sensation on your penis, but you want to keep going. You put a finger into your arsehole. You feel the finger brush past really soft and smooth tissue. There's a ring of pressure that you move past. You can control that pressure, tightening it felt good. You slowly move your finger in and out, while stroking your cock. You notice that when you do this, your cock becomes rock solid. It seems to like it. Your finger can only go in so far. A penis would be longer. You run into the bathroom and get your tooth brush. You use the tip of the handle to find your hole and then begin to slowly insert it. Your thumb, holding below the bristles, pushes against you. It's completely in. You move around slowly and can feel it inside you. It feels really good. You're overwhelmed as you grip your penis and move your hand up and down. Getting faster. The faster you go, the more intensely you feel good. You climax. It's as if there was a build up a pressure inside of you and it was released all at once. Your hand feels really warm. You look down and realise that you've came. You feel good. The next day, you go back to [[the computer room->Day 5]].

As you look at all the cocks, you realise that you want **more** of them. Not in quantity, but of the cocks themselves, you're not completely satisfied with just the regular ones you're seeing. Your eyes fall onto a big cock. It's really big. It's quite long, but it's also really thick. The man holds it with huge pride. There's a watermark. //Monster cocks// You put that into the image search. It's not all men, but you don't mind. You actually still really like seeing women's bodies. What you love to see is penetration, regardless of where it's going. Is that normal for a gay person? you can't ask your friends. You know that being gay is wrong. It's not normal. If you only type //porn// you'll get men and women having sex. You have to specifically type //gay// to get gay porn. You look back at the //Monster// cocks. They look amazing. You feel like you want to do things to those cocks, although you can't put into words what, you just feel a pull, an attraction to them. Your penis gets hard again. The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 6]]. You take off your jumper and hold it to hide your erection.

You enter the computer room with your friend. They've brought another friend, but you don't particularly like that person. You go to a computer and log in. The other two burst out laughing. "What the fuck!?" "Super gay porn!?" "Haha! Monster cocks!?" Your eyes widen. You run to see your friend's screen. They had clicked on the search bar, which brought a drop down menu with previous searches. Listed were all the perverted things you had previously search for to quench your thirst for images of cocks. "What the fuck have you been doing on my account?" your friend asks, menacingly. You stay silent, still in shock at being caught. You feel isolated. You feel like a freak. You feel stupid. "Yeah, don't use my account again." He says eventually. "No!" You blurt out. You need the account as it contains all your year's work. Your friend looks at you, while the other person sniggers. "Fine. Don't look at anything like **this** again." he spits out. "I won't" you tell him. [[And you tell yourself that you won't->Day 6 - Caught]].

Everyone is talking about it. "The whole internet is down" Nobody knows why there is no internet. None of the teachers are saying. But you know. And so does your friend. You see your friend talking to others as you approach. "Is it true?" someone asks, \ (if: $choseGay is true)["did you **really** search for //super gay porn//??"]\ (else: )["did you really look at porn??"] You look sharply at your friend. Before you can answer, the other person's eyes widen with glee and she runs off. It feels unreal. You watch as the news spreads like wildfire. Suddenly hundreds of eyes are falling on you. You feel as though you are shrinking. You wish that you could shrink. You wish that you could escape from everything. The bell rings. Lunch is over, you need to [[go to class->Day 8]]

As you walk through the halls, every other person stares, points, laughs or shouts. (if: $choseGay is true)["So you're the gay boy who got the internet shut down?" "Good job, faggot"]\ (else: )["So you're the little shit who got the internet shut down?" "Good job, pervert"] "Did you hear what he was looking at? What a fucking freak!" You deserve it. You're not normal like everyone else. They're all fine. Something is seriously wrong with you. [[You hate yourself.->Day 9]]

So it's not weird that you still like how women look. "You're just Bi, dude", your new friend explains, " I'm bi too." Bisexual. You're not alone. It's not weird. Other people too are attracted to both male and females. You feel comforted and at home with your new friend. You look up to them, admire their confidence and how comfortable they seem, even though you feel so different to normal people. Your friend introduces you to a group of people. Almost all of them are bisexual. This is awesome. You feel good. You feel accepted. You no longer feel the need to hide. You no longer need to hide. You can laugh and learn with these people. Your [[confidence->Day 10]] grows.

**Choose your orientation** - Straight - Gay - [[Bi->Day 9 - Bisexual]]

You live promiscuously. It's great being able to enjoy a person and not have the limiting factor of not being attracted to a certain sex. Especially in your group of friends, almost everyone has done something with everyone else. Everyone enjoys the company of each other, and you feel set. You then move. You've also been working hard towards a career doing something you love. You got into University but you must now leave, and it's not likely you can keep regular contact with your friends. The bonds dwindle before eventually evaporating. You make new friends. On a night out, you end up in a threeway kiss with a male and female friend, before going home with the female. The next day, the male friend doesn't want to know. He wants to forget. It's not normal. It was a mistake. Dark, painful memories seep back into view. Your confidence waivers. A year passes and you go back to your hometown for the summer. You meet up with old friends. You try to replicate the rapport that you had with them, spanking their arse having a laugh. But it is met with a cold wall. "Hey man I'm... straight. Being bi was just a phase, I don't really want to remember it" The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as the black smoke begins to smother you once more. Just a phase. You'd been met with friction in the past: "You're just greedy" people would tell you when they asked if you're gay or straight and you told them bisexual. Is it not actually a real thing? Is it not normal? Should you only be gay or straight? You can't be both? Should you choose one or the other? What happens if you choose to be straight, but then fall in love with someone of the same sex? You feel [[lost->Day 11]] once more.

**Choose your orientation** - Straight - Gay - Bi - [[???->Day 11 - Pansexual]]

What the fuck is //Pansexual//? You stare at the term. pansexual panˈsɛksjʊəl,-ʃʊəl/ adjective 1. not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. You think back to how you viewed the people you were attracted to. You really didn't care about their gender. It always confused you how fixated people appeared with people's body parts/gender. You'd always been attracted to a //person//. If you are attracted to a person, you don't feel any need to call off your attraction if you find out some information about that person's identity. You certainly don't need to find out more information before telling yourself it's ok to be attracted to someone. You are just attracted to them. Pansexual. It resonates with you. You are pansexual. You just love humans. With this acceptance, you feel a great sense of calming wash over you. You feel like you've found yourself. You know, there are many people who don't share your views. But you've come to accept that you're not living for anyone but yourself. You know that you're in a privileged position. Not everyone will accept how you experience the world, but you also know that you're able to experience it that way, anyway. You've also found a friend group who are more accepting, less judgemental, more open to varied ideas. You feel like you've found your identity --- (live: 60s)[//Thank you for taking the time to play.//]